Let downs

I think it's almost worse for me to do something that lets someone else down and have them not get mad at me. When someone gets mad at me for letting them down I can feel a little bit less bad almost, because they're blaming me for something that was an accident and so forth. When someone reacts like they are saddened but calmly not reprimanding it makes me feel even deeper sorrow to hurting them/ letting them down. I just want to cry and cry and ultimately go back in time and change it. I'm sorry.